Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
