the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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