U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
