we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
