Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
