So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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