You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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