i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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