I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
