and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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