I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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