he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
