He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
