i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
