I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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