I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
