Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
