I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
