I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
