I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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