It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
