I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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