I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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