nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
