When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
