okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
