I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
