I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
