Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
