..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
