Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
