i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize