I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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