Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
