I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
