Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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