i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
