Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
