yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
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It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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