with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
