on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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