just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
