I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
