I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
