Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can you bring me the toilet please
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
