she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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