I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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