Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you would pick up someone in the library
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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