Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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