You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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