Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
