An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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