I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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