just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
