Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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