drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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