No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
