Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Damn victory sex feels great
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
