He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
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Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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