the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
