dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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