Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
