yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
